As usual, I am struggling to get all of the thoughts going through my mind together into one subtle blog post. I don't know if it is just me, or my education being immersed with classes such as this one where I tend to look at both sides of any point, case or argument made, but it sure makes it difficult for me to ever actually know where I stand because of my ability to make an idea for any point.
So anyway I want to write this blog as if it were my journal about my feelings and ideas ...
here are the few questions and things racing through my mind when thinking about sexing the body versus a billion wicked thoughts, and what my wicked thought are...
~I am yet again forced to think about whether this concept of sex is scientific, cultural or religious, or waitttt whatttttttttttt?????? Okay so I'm a girl, I know I'm a girl, I have a *blank* and therefore I am a girl? But now that I think about it...why was I a cheerleader in highschool and not a football player?? Because I was a girl right? And thats what GIRLS did. Boys play football and girls are cheerleaders duh. But now that I think about it was it possibly because of society or did I have a passion and talent for it? This leads me now to thinking about where passions come from, because are people born with them or do they develop through reinforcement created from a young age by culture? Talent is genetic right, like in your genes that whole science thing,.... but wait how do we know that? I guess there are cases where prodigys kinda rule that out, but I know pretty good athletes except I also know that they have practiced everyday on that sport since there were little and couldn't even make decisions on their own because of what their parents decided they should do or play at a young age and then became good at it. So now I am questioning this whole talent thing too, maybe there are natural things within us, but it could be debated the other way I guess now too.
Okay anyway so I am a girl, I know that, this is fact, right? My birth certificate says so? Although there are some articles and stories I have read about people being declared a girl at birth but KNOWING they were a boy. People get sex changes because they claim to have been born the wrong gender or with the wrong party. So wait, why am I a girl??? Am I a girl?? I mean who am I kidding of course I am, I hang out with girls, I dress up and put on makeup and like girly things duh. But I guess there are guys who do that stuff to?? But they LOOK like boys, and have boy parts, so they are just abnormal for doing girly things. I am the one who is in the right, right??? I mean I LIKE boys, they boys who do boy things, they are hot and like DUH we go together. Boy and girl, woman and man. My religion says so. I am a christian and thats the natural thing right?? it always has been. I mean the bible says so, and I guess that is my ultimate go to. Culture and science just try to challenge that... but I mean I guess if I had been born in a different country I might not have the same religion?? Wait, I guess I don't even really know what other religions say about women and men and what is right and wrong and natural and .... now I am questioning way more about sex again so back to the point. Okay so the desires I have, like my sex drive(for boys), that can't have been programmed, its so natural and science, I think. but I wonder if I had been born into a world where all girls liked girls, and boys liked boys and that was what everyone did, and my religion said so if my desires would seem different? Do we control how our mind opperates and feels? Can we be programmed to like something and teach ourselves of what we like and gives us pleasure. Now my mind is wondering to things like tastes, and other things of that nature, I should probably get back to men and women but I cant help but think about how families normally have the same taste in a lot of things, most likely because they were all reinforced and strengthen in likes and dislikes together.. Okay so I guess thats kinda the concept of nature and nurture.
Well now I am questioning and thinking about way more things than I ever was. So what is the answer. Religion?? I guess if you are taught that religion is the go to and you never question it than yeah a lot of people are going to say yes. BUT what if science provessss otherwise, and That there iS no god??? Then those people are going to hell, like the people who dont follow a man and woman being together???
So I guess you kind of get where I am going with this whole a little bit silly idea of what my exagerrated journal entry might look like...
I think that both of the books we are reading bring greats points to think about and interesting ideas about sex and who we are and why we feel the way we do and etc. But bottom line and I am pretty sure I could say this at the end of all of my blog postings, there is not right answer in my mind. I am swayed by the culture which has reinforced me since birth, which INCLUDES science and discoverys made by American scientists for the most part, because well I'm american and that is what the media shows us most of the time. I also believe in certain things because of my parents and their beliefs and been taught what is the right and wrong way, but I also think that my religion and belief in god has come from an innate desire he gave me. I obviously don't know this for sure because I cant remember being a baby obviously, so maybe there is a chance that I was programmed to believe in god and it is all made up. Then again I feel as though there are some innate traits and some we develop just as many arguments make. So sometimes like in this topic of sex and what you are and what you should feel the majority vote is going to agreee on what feels right and what is the NORM, until it is challenged enough as in majority is swayed that it changes and our society becomes tolerant of it.
So once again, I am stuck, Culture or Science? OR RELIGION? which I guess is culture.. BUT the way I was raised Religion goes above everything so.... now, I just don't know..
I think you raised a good point here and a good question really: where do our passions come from? And dreams as well? Are they really what we deep inside really want or it's all because of culture? But needless to say that definitely it has a lot to do with culture included school, friends and also media we have been living with. However, on the other side, I feel like that sometimes or always everyone does have a chance to choose either to adjust oneself into something oneself might not like, something everyone agrees on, or to create something that only yourself truly believes in.
ReplyDeletePart of me think that living in this society and culture nowadays, it's hard to always go on your own and that there is always something we need to or we think we need to depend on. From my perspectives and experience, this society is always about relationship. For instance, when I wanted to apply for a job on campus, I couldn't get it myself because I did not know no one. But once I met someone who worked for school and had her introduced me to her manager, I got that job with easy interview.
But part of me also think that why can't I go on my own? Am I not able to or just that I am willing to? It does appear that it's more on the "I am not willing to" side. May be I can share a film here with whoever is reading this that from Into The Wild by Sean Penn, the character, Christopher McCandless, was asked why he left his family, burned all of his money and gave up on his car, he answered that it's always depend on how much you need to depend on all these materials and how much you think you need them.
Do we believe in reality? Do we want to believe in reality? Do we need to?
Nikki and Wainok (and all of us) might like to take a look at AFS's new work on Dynamic Systems Theory, which does allow us to recognize the power of genes and hormones, and still see the social forces at work. It's at http://www.annefaustosterling.com/dynamic-systems-theory.
ReplyDelete